You may be feeling down, but I assure you that you can beat the blues in an instant. Everyone feels discouraged from time to time, whether it’s personal or career related but there are times when it goes beyond this where one is feeling down, very down.
“When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.”
Unknown
Today I would like to talk about how you can stop feeling bad and change your mood whenever you need to. This will give you enormous power for your life. This article formed in my mind when speaking to a new coaching client whose words were ‘I don’t think you can help me I’m too far down and disappointed with myself.’
Many people believe that they are beyond help, because they’ve felt this way all their lives and can’t imagine it changing. But it does change, and you can be the catalyst.
There is something of a civil war going on within all our lives. Martin
Luther King Jr.
If you’re feeling bad there are ways in which you can quickly change your mood. I’ll come to those in a minute…but…
My clients alarm was set for 6.45 in the morning so that he could be in the gym for 7. Then at his desk by 9 when he could be on the phone making sales calls. He needs the commission check. He has a great plan and actioning it will give him what he really wants, in fact it will change his life. Most of the time he is positive and knows he can really transform his life. But on this morning, he found his mind spiralling out of control, turning more and more negative as the clock kept ticking.
He just couldn’t get back to sleep nor stop his mind.
The first 30 minutes was bad but things got tougher as time just passed by.
It got to 7:15 a.m. He had been up about 5 hours.
Too exhausted to go to the gym.
Too stressed out and unhappy to go to work.
He saw himself as a failure. Many of his age were now winding down into retirement. They’d have plenty in the bank, paid off mortgages, a life of travel and exploration ahead for them, no pressures. While he had nothing and was having to work every day just to survive. His mind could only see more difficulties ahead for him. More bad luck. More failure. His negativity had totally taken over during this day.
His negativity and thoughts of ‘doom and gloom’ continued for at least two days.
Many of us feel down from time to time. In most cases, we don’t feel like ourselves for a few days and then we shake it off. In some cases, feeling down can be more severe and persistent. When a person has been feeling down for a longer period, it seems to become more there way of being, they become a glass half full person.
There are some great articles out there. One worth looking at is by Scott Christ called – 10 Things to do when you feel down, it’s on Lifehack. He has 10 recommended actions that are great. Ranging from stop being so hard on yourself and get up and move to get some work done. The problem is when you start spiralling into negativity, feeling sorry about your life or circumstances, you need something immediate to make the switch. Otherwise you become too far gone in sadness or anger to pick yourself up.
My belief is that you can stop your feeling down thoughts at the flick of a switch. The switch that is in your mind. The one that is activated by you saying at the top of your inner voice, ‘STOP!’
Then force yourself to think of the things you have to be grateful for. Yep I said grateful. Your first breath in the morning, your 1st sight of the trees blowing in the wind through your bedroom window, the roof over your head. Your partner, children, grandchildren, parents, friends, those important people in your life. We all have something to be grateful for no matter how life may be. If you have a roof over your head and food to eat today, you are doing better than many. If you have friends and family members who care about you, that’s something to be thankful for. If you have a job, and getting paid for it, that is something to be grateful for even if it’s not your dream job.
“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”
Christopher Reeve
Someone just lying in bed unable to sleep, overcome by negative thoughts is a scenario many of you I’m sure can relate to. They need to get themselves up out of bed and find a pen and paper. They should then write down ten things they are grateful for. Then go back to bed and allow their mind to think only about these ten things. Then they can fall asleep … happy.
Then remind yourself of your possibilities. Again, we all have things to look forward to, new things we can do, places we can go. Those things that if everything from this moment forward works out well that will then manifest in your life. Those that you will everyday bring your best intentions to, so you work on them.
Getting into the habit of positive visualization, or seeing yourself thriving and reaching your goals, is a great way to banish negative thoughts and put a stop to feeling down. Remind yourself of everything you’ve accomplished over the years.
Next I want you to boost yourself up. Firstly list what you love about yourself. What are your best attributes? Write them down. Create a list of 10 great things about you. Now I know we are far better and certainly more practiced talking badly about ourselves (“I’m not as smart as other people”, “I’ll never amount to anything”, “I’m not talented”, “I’m a failure”).But there are things you’re good at, roles that you excel at, list them all down.
Then I want you to think of all the things you’ve accomplished in your life. Small or large. No matter how long ago, every achievement in your life counts. Make your list and give yourself a pat on the back for each accomplishment.
You have to remember that the hard days are what make you stronger. The bad days make you realize what a good day is. If you never had any bad days, you would never have that sense of accomplishment!
Aly Raisman
I know after being chronically ill for so many years, struggling with my health how down we can be on ourselves. That is also how I know how life changing these three things can be to us.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
Confucius
If you are feeling down and aren’t sure what to do about it, don’t worry. It is likely that your bad mood will go away on its own, but there are a few things that you can do to speed up the process. The great thing about these treatments is that by working them into your weekly routine, you can protect yourself against feeling down in the future.
We owe it to ourselves to try and cut it off as quickly as we can, preferably when it starts. I didn’t say this was easy to do. You really have to force yourself to take control. To refuse your inner mind the freedom to wreak its damage. You have to notice when you are doing it, and then instruct yourself by using the word ‘STOP.’
Its worth trying. What have you got lose? In truth you can only gain, by not allowing too much of your time being spent in a downward negative spiral.
Here’s your challenge for the next time you feel down. Implement these ideas:
1. What are you grateful for?
2. What exciting, positive possibilities lie ahead for you?
3. Boost yourself up. What are your best attributes and accomplishments.
Pick Me Up List
| GRATITUDE LIST | POSSIBILITY LIST | ATTRIBUTE LIST | ACCOMPLISHMENTS LIST |
Once you have tried this let me know how they work for you.
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.
Dale Carnegie
If life seems to be nothing but struggle after struggle, then I strongly suggest you do the exercises in this article ‘Struggling with Life.’You will find your answers.
