Are you living the way you want, or do you find yourself unhappy with life, just coasting along and not really living to your full potential, worse where life feels empty?
Maybe even though there are great things going on in your life, you still feel some hole inside, you just don’t feel fulfilled. Others don’t understand why you are unhappy with life, you’ve achieved so much, but you are.
Alas, money and success, don’t make for happiness, but they sure do help.
There comes a time in many people’s lives when they, either suddenly or gradually, realise that something is wrong and they’re unhappy with life. Maybe you realise that what you thought would make you happy, hasn’t. Or you have climbed the ladder…and found that it is leaning against the wrong wall.
If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. Abraham Maslow
You want to change something about your life
But not clear about what that is.
You just know you’re unhappy with life.
Many clients come to me for life coaching not knowing what they want from life – they just know that whatever they have at the moment is not it.
My role as a life coach is to help you figure out:
What do you want from life?
How will you go about achieving it?
You might say something like:
“Is this all there is?”
“I should be happy – why aren’t I?”
“I’m only doing this to make [person x] happy – but I’m not happy.”
“This just isn’t working for me, but I don’t know how to change it.”
Then you’re going to say, every problem has a solution. I just need to find what that is for me, and I need to begin making the necessary changes.
When you were young you probably dreamed of accomplishing great things and living a life of value and purpose. Unfortunately, it is far too easy to allow the demands and frustrations of daily living to dampen those hopes and squash those dreams. You may be a success in your career, but that is no guarantee for happiness. Has it been for you?
You can’t settle for just getting by.
You’re so used to being a mum or dad, wife or husband, sister or brother, daughter or son, leader, work colleague or friend that you’ve forget about yourself and doing those things that would make you happy.
Whatever the reasons for you being unhappy with life, I want you to take the time to do this exercise.
Find a warm quiet place where you will not be disturbed.
Sit in a chair, arms at your sides, legs uncrossed with good posture so that your stomach is not squashed in, your back perfectly straight.
Sitting in this comfortable position just practice complete body stillness … don’t move, keep absolutely still, just sit and relax. Let the world pass by and you just sit completely still.
Now start to become aware of your breathing – do not try to change your breathing pattern – whatever it is, just become aware of it – total awareness of your natural incoming and outgoing breath. Aware of each breath, its rhythm, depth or shallowness, and its speed.
Focus all your attention on your breathing. Observe this natural process that has been occurring throughout your life, and which has always been taken for granted. Be aware now of each and every breath that you take. In and out. In and out.
Do not interfere with the natural rhythm of your breathing. Leave it as it is. Simply be aware as a witness of each breath. Become increasingly more conscious of your breath. Let yourself relax into its continual smooth ebb and flow.
Notice how your breath is flowing. Is it coming fast or slow, shallow or deep, irregular or even?
Just stay as a silent observer of how you are breathing. Keep your awareness on each and every breath in and breath out, without missing a single one. Begin to say mentally, ‘I am aware that I am breathing in and I am aware that I am breathing out’. Just keep breathing in and out, while you focus on each breath. Breathe in and out.
Just keep breathing. Continue to observe this natural and spontaneous breathing process, developing total awareness of the rhythmic flow of your breath. Feel the breath flowing in and out. Do not control it in anyway.
Notice your breath entering through your nose, just observe this. Feel it travelling around your body. Just sense it, feel its path.
Notice as it leaves. Does it exit from your mouth or maybe your nose?
If you could create your version of a deeply satisfying, enjoyable, meaningful and empowering life experience, what would it look like? What would it feel like? Who else would be there? Where would you live? What kind of activities would you spend your time on? What kind of physical, emotional, and financial space would you be in?
What’s going to make you happy in life. Think about this while you just breath. Don’t rush, or get frustrated if the answer doesn’t come. Give it time. Just think , what will make my life happy, bring me contentment, where I feel fulfilled.
Now take another minute…
How does that visualized life compare with your current reality? Is it close? Are you moving toward it, or is the difference like night and day?
Now ask yourself what do you need to do to bridge the gap.
Think for a while more. What needs to change?
How many personal development books have you read or courses have you done where you merely skim through the required exercises? Well let me tell you that nothing changes in your life until you do the work. It starts here, right now, and your first step to stop being unhappy with life is to determine your vision for the future.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx
If you need help to get clear on what you want to do, and also help you work out how to do it, a coach can help you find the motivation and ability to take that step you know you want to take. To arrange a free 30-minute consultation on how I can help you with finding a new direction in your life, contact me.
photo credit: CommScope Millennials_Selfie via photopin (license)
